--- title: 7 Relationship Tips for the Love-Starved Grad Student description: 7 Relationship Tips for the Love-Starved Grad Student image: https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-1.jpg --- [JoVE](https://www.jove.com/) [Faculty Resource Center](https://app.jove.com/playlist/library/all) Research![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/chevron-down-regular.svg) [Behavior](https://www.jove.com/research/behavior) [Biochemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/biochemistry) [Bioengineering](https://www.jove.com/research/bioengineering) [Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/biology) [Cancer Research](https://www.jove.com/research/cancer-research) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/chemistry) [Developmental Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/developmental-biology) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/research/engineering) [Environment](https://www.jove.com/research/environment) [Genetics](https://www.jove.com/research/genetics) [Immunology and Infection](https://www.jove.com/research/immunology-infection) [Medicine](https://www.jove.com/research/medicine) [Neuroscience](https://www.jove.com/research/neuroscience) --- [JoVE **Journal**](https://www.jove.com/journal) [JoVE **Encyclopedia of Experiments**New](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) Education![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/chevron-down-regular.svg) [Biology](https://www.jove.com/education/biology) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/education/chemistry) [Statistics](https://www.jove.com/science-education/corestats) [Environmental Sciences](https://www.jove.com/education/envirosci) [Physics](https://www.jove.com/education/physics) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/education/eng) [Psychology](https://www.jove.com/education/psychology) [Clinical Skills](https://www.jove.com/education/clinicskills) --- [JoVE **Core**](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE **Science Education**](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library) [JoVE **Lab Manual**](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [JoVE **Book**NEW](https://www.jove.com/video-textbook) --- [JoVE QuizBeta](https://www.jove.com/quiz) [Videos Mapped to Your Course](https://www.jove.com/syllabus-mapping) [Authors](https://www.jove.com/authors/overview) [Librarians](https://www.jove.com/librarians/overview) [About](https://www.jove.com/about) [Blog](https://blog.jove.com) [Contact Us](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) Research [JoVE **Journal**](https://www.jove.com/journal) [JoVE **Encyclopedia of Experiments**New](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) Education [JoVE **Core**](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE **Science Education**](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library) [JoVE **Lab Manual**](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [JoVE **Book**NEW](https://www.jove.com/video-textbook) [![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/jove-logo-black.svg)](https://www.jove.com/) Close Research [Behavior](https://www.jove.com/research/behavior) [Biochemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/biochemistry) [Bioengineering](https://www.jove.com/research/bioengineering) [Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/biology) [Cancer Research](https://www.jove.com/research/cancer-research) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/chemistry) [Developmental Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/developmental-biology) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/research/engineering) [Environment](https://www.jove.com/research/environment) [Genetics](https://www.jove.com/research/genetics) [Immunology and Infection](https://www.jove.com/research/immunology-infection) [Medicine](https://www.jove.com/research/medicine) [Neuroscience](https://www.jove.com/research/neuroscience) Products [JoVE Journal](https://www.jove.com/journal) [JoVE Encyclopedia of Experiments](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) Education [Biology](https://www.jove.com/education/biology) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/education/chemistry) [Statistics](https://www.jove.com/science-education/corestats) [Environmental Sciences](https://www.jove.com/education/envirosci) [Physics](https://www.jove.com/education/physics) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/education/eng) [Psychology](https://www.jove.com/education/psychology) [Clinical Skills](https://www.jove.com/education/clinicskills) Products [JoVE Core](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE Science Education](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library) [JoVE Lab Manual](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [JoVE **Book**NEW](https://www.jove.com/video-textbook) [JoVE QuizBeta](https://www.jove.com/quiz) [Videos Mapped to Your Course](https://www.jove.com/syllabus-mapping) [Submit Feedback](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) [About Us](https://www.jove.com/about/) [JoVE](https://www.jove.com/) [JoVE](https://www.jove.com/) [Faculty Resource Center](https://www.jove.com/facultyresources) Research![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/chevron-down-regular.svg) [Behavior](https://www.jove.com/research/behavior) [Biochemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/biochemistry) [Bioengineering](https://www.jove.com/research/bioengineering) [Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/biology) [Cancer Research](https://www.jove.com/research/cancer-research) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/chemistry) [Developmental Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/developmental-biology) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/research/engineering) [Environment](https://www.jove.com/research/environment) [Genetics](https://www.jove.com/research/genetics) [Immunology and Infection](https://www.jove.com/research/immunology-infection) [Medicine](https://www.jove.com/research/medicine) [Neuroscience](https://www.jove.com/research/neuroscience) --- [JoVE **Journal**](https://www.jove.com/journal) [JoVE **Encyclopedia of Experiments**New](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) Education![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/chevron-down-regular.svg) [Biology](https://www.jove.com/education/biology) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/education/chemistry) [Statistics](https://www.jove.com/science-education/corestats) [Environmental Sciences](https://www.jove.com/education/envirosci) [Physics](https://www.jove.com/education/physics) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/education/eng) [Psychology](https://www.jove.com/education/psychology) [Clinical Skills](https://www.jove.com/education/clinicskills) --- [JoVE **Core**](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE **Science Education**](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library) [JoVE **Lab Manual**](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [JoVE **Book**NEW](https://www.jove.com/video-textbook) --- [JoVE QuizBeta](https://www.jove.com/quiz) [Videos Mapped to Your Course](https://www.jove.com/syllabus-mapping) [Authors](https://www.jove.com/authors/overview) [Librarians](https://www.jove.com/librarians/overview) [About](https://www.jove.com/about) [Sign In](https://www.jove.com/account/signin) [Sign In](https://www.jove.com/account/signin) [Contact Us](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) Research [JoVE **Journal**](https://www.jove.com/journal) [JoVE **Encyclopedia of Experiments**New](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) Education [JoVE **Core**](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE **Science Education**](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library) [JoVE **Lab Manual**](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [JoVE **Book**NEW](https://www.jove.com/video-textbook) [![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/jove-logo-black.svg)](https://www.jove.com/) Close Research [Behavior](https://www.jove.com/research/behavior) [Biochemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/biochemistry) [Bioengineering](https://www.jove.com/research/bioengineering) [Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/biology) [Cancer Research](https://www.jove.com/research/cancer-research) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/research/chemistry) [Developmental Biology](https://www.jove.com/research/developmental-biology) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/research/engineering) [Environment](https://www.jove.com/research/environment) [Genetics](https://www.jove.com/research/genetics) [Immunology and Infection](https://www.jove.com/research/immunology-infection) [Medicine](https://www.jove.com/research/medicine) [Neuroscience](https://www.jove.com/research/neuroscience) Products [JoVE Journal](https://www.jove.com/journal) [JoVE Encyclopedia of Experiments](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) Education [Biology](https://www.jove.com/education/biology) [Chemistry](https://www.jove.com/education/chemistry) [Statistics](https://www.jove.com/science-education/corestats) [Environmental Sciences](https://www.jove.com/education/envirosci) [Physics](https://www.jove.com/education/physics) [Engineering](https://www.jove.com/education/eng) [Psychology](https://www.jove.com/education/psychology) [Clinical Skills](https://www.jove.com/education/clinicskills) Products [JoVE Core](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE Science Education](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library) [JoVE Lab Manual](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [JoVE **Book**NEW](https://www.jove.com/video-textbook) [JoVE QuizBeta](https://www.jove.com/quiz) [Videos Mapped to Your Course](https://www.jove.com/syllabus-mapping) [Blog](https://blog.jove.com) [Submit Feedback](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) [About Us](https://www.jove.com/about/) [← Previous Page](https://blog.jove.com) [← Previous Page](https://blog.jove.com) ![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-1.jpg) ![...](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-1.jpg) Education # 7 Relationship Tips for the Love-Starved Grad Student Phil Meagher, JoVE Writer | Jun 16, 2014 [![](https://cloudfront.jove.com/img/icons/linkedin-in-brands_white.svg)](https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student) [![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported%20images/twitter-white.png)](http://www.twitter.com/share?url=https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student) [![](https://cloudfront.jove.com/img/icons/facebook-square-brands_white.svg)](https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student) Phil Meagher, JoVE Writer | Jun 16 2014 [![](https://cloudfront.jove.com/img/icons/linkedin-in-brands_white.svg)](https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student) [![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported%20images/twitter-white.png)](http://www.twitter.com/share?url=https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student) [![](https://cloudfront.jove.com/img/icons/facebook-square-brands_white.svg)](https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student) *This is a guest post by* [*Adam Ruben, PhD*](http://adamruben.net)*—molecular biologist, television host on the Discovery Channel’s “*[*Outrageous Acts of Science*](http://science.discovery.com/tv-shows/outrageous-acts-of-science)*,” and author of the book “*[*Surviving Your Stupid, Stupid Decision to Go to Grad School*](http://tinyurl.com/3dt7ude)*.” You can read more of Adam Ruben's work on the JoVE blog [here](http://www.jove.com/blog/tag/adam-ruben).* So you want to have a relationship while in grad school.  Neat.  That always works out well. Not to put too fine a point on it, but grad school does to relationships what a meat tenderizer does to a snail.  [![Relationship Tips for Love Starved Grad Student](https://blog.jove.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-300x200-1.jpg?width=300&height=200&name=Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-300x200-1.jpg)](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-1.jpg?hsLang=en) Still, if you’re committed to making this thing work (and you SAID you were, Jessica, you SAID it), here are some tips to ensure you’re as successful in your relationship as med students are at everything in their own minds. 1. Relationships thrive on surprises, so surprise your significant other by promising to get married after you graduate. But you have no control over your graduation date.  Surprise! 2. “A romantic dinner” is not the same thing as “Let’s sneak into the biophysics colloquium and steal pizza bagels.” 3. Relationships between grad students and their thesis advisors are frowned upon.  This rule applies to romantic relationships, friendly relationships, and collegial relationships of mutual respect. 4. Remember, postdoctoral fellows are incapable of experiencing love. 5. Be sure to look your partner in the eyes every day and say, “I cherish you.”  If you need to stay late in the lab tonight, it’s okay to skip today.  But then tomorrow is your midterm, and you have all these problem sets to grade, so maybe say it next Tuesday.  Shoot, that’s lab meeting.  Just…geez.  I don’t know. 6. Undergrads are nubile.  Just sayin’. 7. If you truly love something, let it go.  So let go of the idea that you can have a normal relationship in grad school. --- ### Related Posts - [JoVE](https://www.jove.com/) - [Privacy](https://www.jove.com/about/policies)  •   [Terms of Use](https://www.jove.com/about/policies#step-2)  •   [Policies](https://www.jove.com/about/policies) - - [Share on Twitter](http://twitter.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on LinkedIn](http://www.linkedin.com/company/jove) - [Contact Us](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) - [Recommend US](https://www.jove.com/recommend-jove-to-your-librarian) - [JoVE NEWSLETTERS](https://www.jove.com/subscribe-to-jove-newsletters) - ###### RESEARCH - [JoVE Journal](https://www.jove.com/journal) - [Methods Collections](https://www.jove.com/methods-collections) - [JoVE Encyclopedia of Experiments](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) - [Archive](https://www.jove.com/archive) ###### EDUCATION - [JoVE Core](https://www.jove.com/education/core) - [JoVE Science Education](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library/) - [JoVE Lab Manual](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) - [Faculty Resource Center](https://www.jove.com/facultyresources) - ###### Authors - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/authors/overview) - [Publishing Process](https://www.jove.com/authors/publication) - [Editorial Board](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-board) - [Scope and Policies](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-policies) - [Peer Review](https://www.jove.com/authors/peer-review) - [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/authors/faq) - [Submit](https://www.jove.com/authors/submit) - ###### Librarians - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/librarians/overview) - [Testimonials](https://www.jove.com/librarians/testimonials) - [Subscriptions](https://www.jove.com/librarians/subscriptions) - [Access](https://www.jove.com/access) - [Resources](https://www.jove.com/librarians/resources) - [Library Advisory Board](https://www.jove.com/librarians/advisory-board) - [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/librarians/faq) - ###### ABOUT JoVE - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/about) - [Leadership](https://www.jove.com/about/leadership/) - [Blog](https://blog.jove.com/) - [JoVE](https://www.jove.com/) - [Privacy](https://www.jove.com/about/policies)  •  [Terms of Use](https://www.jove.com/about/policies#step-2)  •  [Policies](https://www.jove.com/about/policies) - - [Share on Twitter](http://twitter.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on LinkedIn](http://www.linkedin.com/company/jove) - Share on Wechat - [Contact Us](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) - [Recommend US](https://www.jove.com/recommend-jove-to-your-librarian) - [JoVE NEWSLETTERS](https://www.jove.com/subscribe-to-jove-newsletters) - ###### RESEARCH - [JoVE Journal](https://www.jove.com/journal) - [Methods Collections](https://www.jove.com/methods-collections) - [JoVE Encyclopedia of Experiments](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) - [Archive](https://www.jove.com/archive) ###### EDUCATION - [JoVE Core](https://www.jove.com/education/core) - [JoVE Science Education](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library/) - [JoVE Lab Manual](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) - [Faculty Resource Center](https://www.jove.com/facultyresources) - ###### Authors - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/authors/overview) - [Publishing Process](https://www.jove.com/authors/publication) - [Editorial Board](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-board) - [Scope and Policies](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-policies) - [Peer Review](https://www.jove.com/authors/peer-review) - [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/authors/faq) - [Submit](https://www.jove.com/authors/submit) ###### Librarians - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/librarians/overview) - [Testimonials](https://www.jove.com/librarians/testimonials) - [Subscriptions](https://www.jove.com/librarians/subscriptions) - [Access](https://www.jove.com/access) - [Resources](https://www.jove.com/librarians/resources) - [Library Advisory Board](https://www.jove.com/librarians/advisory-board) - [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/librarians/faq) - ###### ABOUT JoVE - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/about) - [Leadership](https://www.jove.com/about/leadership/) - [Blog](https://blog.jove.com/) - ###### RESEARCH - [JoVE Journal](https://www.jove.com/journal) - [Methods Collections](https://www.jove.com/methods-collections) - [JoVE Encyclopedia of Experiments](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) - [Archive](https://www.jove.com/archive) ###### EDUCATION - [JoVE Core](https://www.jove.com/education/core) - [JoVE Science Education](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library/) - [JoVE Lab Manual](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) - [Faculty Resource Center](https://www.jove.com/facultyresources) ###### Authors - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/authors/overview) - [Publishing Process](https://www.jove.com/authors/publication) - [Editorial Board](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-board) - [Scope and Policies](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-policies) - [Peer Review](https://www.jove.com/authors/peer-review) - [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/authors/faq) - [Submit](https://www.jove.com/authors/submit) - ###### Librarians - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/librarians/overview) - [Testimonials](https://www.jove.com/librarians/testimonials) - [Subscriptions](https://www.jove.com/librarians/subscriptions) - [Access](https://www.jove.com/access) - [Resources](https://www.jove.com/librarians/resources) - [Library Advisory Board](https://www.jove.com/librarians/advisory-board) - [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/librarians/faq) ###### ABOUT JoVE - [Overview](https://www.jove.com/about) - [Leadership](https://www.jove.com/about/leadership/) - [Blog](https://blog.jove.com/) [JoVE](https://www.jove.com/) - [Privacy](https://www.jove.com/about/policies)  •  [Terms of Use](https://www.jove.com/about/policies#step-2)  •  [Policies](https://www.jove.com/about/policies) - - [Share on Twitter](http://twitter.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on LinkedIn](http://www.linkedin.com/company/jove) - [Contact Us](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) - [Recommend US](https://www.jove.com/recommend-jove-to-your-librarian) ###### RESEARCH [JoVE Journal](https://www.jove.com/journal) [Methods Collections](https://www.jove.com/methods-collections) [JoVE Encyclopedia of Experiments](https://www.jove.com/encyclopedia-of-experiments) [Archive](https://www.jove.com/archive) --- ###### EDUCATION [JoVE Core](https://www.jove.com/education/core) [JoVE Science Education](https://www.jove.com/science-education-library/) [JoVE Lab Manual](https://www.jove.com/education/lab-manual) [Faculty Resource Center](https://www.jove.com/facultyresources) --- ###### Authors [Overview](https://www.jove.com/authors/overview) [Publishing Process](https://www.jove.com/authors/publication) [Editorial Board](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-board) [Scope and Policies](https://www.jove.com/authors/editorial-policies) [Peer Review](https://www.jove.com/authors/peer-review) [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/authors/faq) [Submit](https://www.jove.com/authors/submit) --- ###### Librarians [Overview](https://www.jove.com/librarians/overview) [Testimonials](https://www.jove.com/librarians/testimonials) [Subscriptions](https://www.jove.com/librarians/subscriptions) [Access](https://www.jove.com/access) [Resources](https://www.jove.com/librarians/resources) [Library Advisory Board](https://www.jove.com/librarians/advisory-board) [FAQ](https://www.jove.com/librarians/faq) --- ###### ABOUT JoVE [Overview](https://www.jove.com/about) [Leadership](https://www.jove.com/about/leadership/) [Blog](https://blog.jove.com/) --- ![](https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/raw_assets/public/Blog-design-template-2022/Jove_july2k22_test/template/icons/jove-logo-white.svg) - - [Share on Twitter](http://twitter.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/JoVEjournal) - [Share on LinkedIn](http://www.linkedin.com/company/jove) [Contact Us](https://www.jove.com/about/contact) [Recommend Us](https://www.jove.com/recommend-jove-to-your-librarian) - [Privacy](https://www.jove.com/about/policies) - . - [Terms of Use](https://www.jove.com/about/policies) - . - [Policies](https://www.jove.com/about/policies) --- Copyright © 2026 MyJoVE Corporation. All rights reserved ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "BlogPosting", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Phil Meagher", "url" : "https://blog.jove.com/author/phil-meagher" }, "dateModified" : "2022-10-04T07:22:00.779Z", "datePublished" : "2014-06-16T04:00:00.000Z", "headline" : "7 Relationship Tips for the Love-Starved Grad Student", "image" : [ "https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Relationship-Tips-for-Love-Starved-Grad-Student-1.jpg" ], "mainEntityOfPage" : { "@id" : "https://blog.jove.com/scientist-blog/7-relationship-tips-for-love-starved-grad-student", "@type" : "WebPage" }, "publisher" : { "@type" : "Organization", "logo" : { "@type" : "ImageObject", "url" : "https://blog.jove.com/hubfs/JoVE%20K12%20Logo.png" }, "name" : "MyJoVE Corporation" } } ```